


Merciless

by straw_berymilkt34



Category: No Fandom
Genre: #mystery #angst #mafia #mlm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26115454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straw_berymilkt34/pseuds/straw_berymilkt34
Summary: Hawk Jones only focus was the syndicate but when his old comrade asks a favor his path takes a sinister turn. Will he be able to go through with the favor? What will he risk along the way? Find out in Merciless.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

“got the money Hawk?” Keteth said in a low raspy voice. “you can call me by my name old man.” i sneered back while opening the case i had been hiding behind me. he snickered and whistled as he watched me open the case. “man, Leo wasn’t lying was he.” he said as his men collected the money. he lit a cigar and a big puff of smoke emulated from it. “want one?” he gestured with the second one he had. i shook my head and he sighed. “tryin to get to know ya mate. you don’t make it easy.” he said. i didn’t respond and reached for the case. you don’t make friends in a syndicate. they come back to bite you one day. as i walked towards the railway i saw one of my comrades. (in russian) “hey, how are you?” i asked. we never spoke in the native tongue when we traveled. most agents must know at least 6 languages or else you’ll get stuck in some pretty bad situations. (in russian) “good, good. just got done with a job. you still working with Leo?” still with Leo? i can’t leave. not with the debt i have. i shrugged and continued down the road till i got to the station.  
as i arrived back in Kursk i was greeted by Zac and Azno. “aye man! how have you been.” Azno said enthusiastically while gripping my shoulder. Azno talked a lot. he was very excitable and him and Zac didn’t always get along but he was a good guy once you get to know him. “i’m good.” i said under my breath. i was tired from the mission. i think Zac could tell because he tapped Azno’s shoulder and the taller male released his hold on me. as we made our way down town we stopped at a small restaurant. we were enjoying our time until i spotted someone out of the corner of my eye. he had a Zikutani sign embroidered on his jacket. he looked up and saw my Leo signet and winked at me. i got up and walked over towards the bathrooms, making sure i passed his table on the way. “outside.” i stated quite calmly. he smirked as i continued to walk and followed me to the door. i whipped out my gun and held it so it was right in front of his face. “what are you doing here punk. you’re way out of your territory.” i snarled. he chuckled and held a hand up in surrender. “take it easy, i’m not here to hurt anyone.” he said almost as if he was mocking me. i kept a straight face and he sighed. i thought he was going to talk but the taller male quickly pulled his gun out. “to slow.” i whispered as a gunshot rang through the quiet night. i walked back inside and Zac seemed worried. “is everything alright?” he asked. i hesitated for a second but replied with a chuckle, “of course.”


	2. Chapter 2

i walked through the big iron doors and saw Leo. he was reading a report and sighed as i walked in. “hey Hawk.” he said. i sat down and he continued. “whatcha got for me today?” i pulled out a small bag and a few papers. “got that healing drug you requested. also got the papers to ensure our closure on next months deal.” he grabbed both of the items and waved for a staff member to come collect the things i brought. as the staff member walked out he grabbed my tie and pulled me close. “Hawk... i would appreciate if you wrapped up that.. other job i told you to do.” he said in a hushed tone. i smirked and looked at his eyes. “my pleasure.” i whispered. our eyes met once more as i backed away and i could see the psychotic look plastered on his face. i smirked lightly before leaving. this is going to be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

we all sat together at the dinning table. my house was quaint but i liked it. it was the only place that felt safe. “come on man! will you give me like one hint??” i was sitting at the dinning table with Azno and Zac. Azno has been trying to guess my real name for the past hour and Zac even added a few suggestions as well. “nope. no hints.” i said while smirking. Azno rolled his eyes as he got up and grabbed his coat. he stood at the door and bid us fair well before heading home. me and Zac cleaned up together. once he finished he sat at the bar and scrolled on his phone. “ya know i could just tell you my name.” i said quietly. he stopped and clicked his phone off. “i’ve known for quite awhile honestly.” he said, smiling very lightly as my name rolled off his tongue. he was a distant person. ever since college he had been very vague and never had friends. i don’t honestly remember how i met him but after awhile i learned to trust him. he even knew about the syndicate. he checked his watch, “well i should get going. thanks for dinner.” he said before getting his things together. “night.” i mumbled as he left. it was hard having friends and being in an illegal group. you don’t know who to trust almost of the time and you have to be careful what you tell people as well. Azno was a good friend but heck, he still thinks i work for a computer software company downtown. i laughed a little at the thought of me in an office. compared to what i do now. i don’t think i will ever want a normal job. especially since my job involves high speed chases and gang rivalry. it was dangerous but it was fun. the only part i worry about it Zac. he knew about the syndicate. he knew my name. he could be in serious trouble because of what he knows.


	4. Chapter 4

i had my gun pointed at the hostage. he sat in relative silence, watching me. “you don’t want to talk aye?” i said while walking closer. when i got in range i kicked his shin sending him tumbling to the ground. i smirked. “boss wants you dead. you gonna tell me what happened or are we going to do this the hard way?” i said while pulling out his wallet. i unclasped a small button and pictures fell out. a look of absolute horror fell across his face. “please no, don’t hurt them.” he pleaded as i searched further into the wallet. he had a wife and two daughters. i had some leverage here. “if you don’t want them dead then tell me what you know.” i barked. he looked away and stayed quiet for a minute. “fine.. the shipment you’re looking for is gone. transported yesterday. you can still catch it but it’s most likely already out at sea.” he said slowly. i nodded to my agents and they took the wallet. “you promised not to hurt them-“ he said before i cut him off, “save it.” i said as i pulled the trigger.   
i was nervous coming back to the office. Leo was going to be mad about the shipment being lost. i twirled my tie in my hand as i opened the door. “damn it Hawk.” he barked. i winced as he threw a stack of papers at me. “we lost 2 million because of you.” he continued as he walked up to me. he looked at my face and we locked eyes. he then kicked my shin hard and i grunted. “weak.” he muttered before walking back to his desk. “get out Hawk.” he said and i exited the room. as i walked i felt the pain in my leg growing. i picked up my phone and waited for Zac to pick up. “hey Zac. i need your help.”   
“damn it Hawk. what did he do?” Zac said as he helped me to the car. my leg must’ve fractured from the blow. “that man and his iron toe.” i chuckled lightly. he never told me why but always had the ends of this shoes wrapped in solid titanium. now i get it. he immediately started towards the hospital but stopped suddenly. “shit, i forgot you are part of an illegal syndicate. why did you have to get so wrapped up in all of this illegal stuff Hawk?” he said angrily. i have never heard Zac talk like this. he wasn’t quiet or rational. he was angry and scared and confused. i knew the feeling all to well. i snapped back from my thoughts to Zac, who was trying to help me out of the car. we got inside and he had me lay down on his couch. he then hastily grabbed several items. “do you know what you’re doing?” i asked quietly. “kinda. i used to help my aunt at the hospital.” he replied. after grabbing one more thing he then walked back over to me. he rolled up my pants leg and swore under his breath. “internal bleeding.” he mumbled and he began to treat the wound. it wasn’t to bad. the shoe had actually ripped the skin and tore out part of it so i needed stitches and i knew it would leave a nasty scar. as he finished wrapping my leg up he looked at me. his eyes were intense and i could see the concern that filled them. “Hawk.. what you do isn’t safe. i was fine with it for awhile but i’m worried about you. can’t you see what this is doing to you? you’re risking any chance of ever having a normal life and i just can’t support it. i know Azno doesn’t know but from this point on i won’t be attending our weekly meet ups and i won’t pick you up and help you. i’m not going to play these silly games and worry my ass off while your out there risking it all. it’s not fair to me. or to anyone. i’m sorry Hawk, i really am... you should rest. i’ll drive you to your place when you wake up again.” he said. tears threatened to fall but i blinked them back and managed to nod in agreement. he left the room and i thought about what he said. i can’t leave the syndicate. he doesn’t get the situation i’m in right now. i sighed and looked over at the table. there was a picture there of me and him. it was on his 20th birthday and we had a big party to celebrate. i chuckled thinking about how much fun we had. these past three years were nothing like that though. after i started working more we slowly drifted apart. Azno was friends of both of us and he helped us reconnect. i just don’t know where we went wrong i thought before slowly drifting off.  
“get up.” i heard Zac say before throwing something at me. i sat up and yawned lightly and then looked at what had been thrown. it was a black hoodie with a logo on it. the logo read ‘SIC’ it was from our old university, Science Institute of Canada. “wait, wait, wait. that’s where my old hoodie went?? you’ve had it for 5 years?!” i said while laughing. a small blush filled his face and he looked away. “you want it back or not?” he said blankly. i stopped laughing and threw it back at him. “keep it man. i wouldn’t even fit in it anymore.” i said as i picked up my stuff and walked to the door. “i guess this is goodbye Zac.” i said trying not to make him feel bad. i scratched the side of my neck and he grabbed my hand. “i know you well enough to know that when you do that it means you’re upset. this isn’t goodbye. well not completely. i just can’t keep feeling worried for you. i-“ he said but i interrupted him. “i’m sorry. i really am. i didn’t mean for you to get hurt by this. i didn’t even realize you felt the way you do. i’m sorry.” i said. he nodded gingerly and then looked down. “bye, Zac” i said as i pulled my hand out of his grasp and walked out the door.   
(third person pov) Zac slid down the door and sat on the ground in front of it, his arms wrapped around his knees. ‘it had to be done’ is all he could think. a little bit further down the road Hawk was walking briskly. a few people waved at him but he brushed past without a word.


	5. Chapter 5

(Hawk pov) the next few weeks were absolute hell. i got home from work completely exhausted and flopped onto the couch. Leo was hard on me now and i always had tons and tons of work to do. he had also become very distant. he used to teach me and give me fun jobs, now he just treated me like another one of his pawns. as i fiddled with the cigar in my fingers i saw a shadow outside. i reached my pocket and grabbed my gun then got up and went to the windows edge. i waited until they were in range and then peaked out of the window. the figure wore a huge cloak that concealed most of his body. he continued to walk up the drive and then knocked on the door. “who is it?” i called while walking towards the entrance. “Hawk, it’s James.” oh lord what does this idiot want. i opened the door and he walked inside. we sat down and he started to explain, “i have a... job for you.” he said firmly. “listen. i stopped working for that asshole 2 years ago and i ain’t going back.” i said trying to wrap this up quickly. “i know but Veino died. Parker has taken over but the associate that killed him has a big bounty now.” he said. Parker aye? he was always a big roll model for all the cadets. i saw through his lies though. “how much we talking?” i asked. “20 million~” he teased slightly. 20 million?! who was this guy. “i normally wouldn’t but... you have a deal James.” we shook hands and i invited him to stay for dinner. as we were sitting down to eat i had to ask, “so, what’s his name?” i said before stuffing some of the tasty pork cutlet into my mouth. “ah his names Leo.” he said. i swallowed and looked at him firmly. “you mean my boss?!” i screamed. “i know, i know, i’m sorry but you’re the only one close enough to him.” he tried to reason with me. i had already agreed to help him. i was doomed.


	6. Chapter 6

“h-hey boss. what’s the plan for today?” i asked. i was still confused as to what i should do. if i kill him and collect the bounty i will gain a bounty as well which is the last thing i want. but if i don’t and Leo finds out, i’ll be dead as well. i was so caught up in my thoughts that i neglected to notice the fact that Leo had leaned down and was looking at my down cast face. “Hawk-“ he said, waving his hands in front of my face. i jolted back and shivered slightly. “s-sorry” i said hastily. he didn’t respond and grabbed my shoulder. he led me over to a couch that was seated next to a big armchair. “sit.” he said before barking an order at one of the workers. a moment later a bottle of gin and two glasses was set on the table. he also pulled out a box of cigars and placed them by the bottle. he poured us both a glass and took a sip before speaking. “you’ve been on edge recently. anything you want to talk about? we were very close when you were a cadet, you know you can trust me.” i swirled the contentedly of my glass carefully and contemplated what to say. i wouldn’t tell the whole truth, just enough to sound believable. “well Sir i’ve just been anxious after my friend left me. me and him were really close and i guess i just missed him.” i stated. he sighed. “look. it’s not easy having friends in this line of work. i’m sorry. there’s nothing much you can do about it.” i nodded and sank into the soft couch. after a few more minutes he broke the silence once more. “take the day off. you need time to recharge.” he said while smiling. i nodded and got up to leave. as i walked down the hall i saw James again. as he walked by the men’s restroom i pulled him in and pushed him against a wall. “why are you here punk?” i spat. “just trying to check up on your.. progress.” he said with a smirk. “get lost.” i grunted as i walked out. what was i going to do about those idiots. they are going to drive me mad with all of this decision making.  
as i made my way home i got a sudden phone call. it was from Zac. i picked up and he immediately spoke. “Hawk! t-they found me. they have me locked up somewhere by main street. please hurry.” he pleaded. i ran to my car and hopped in. “damn it.” i swore as i pulled out of the parking lot and zoomed towards main street. the Kaneski league rules that side of town. thankfully that means i know where they’re hotspots are. finally i found him he was with a smaller group so he was in the last place i would have looked. luckily his phone notifications were turned on so i could tell where he was. as i approached the building i saw two guards. i pulled out my gun and shot both of them and then continued through. ‘easy’ i thought to myself. that is until i got to a room with 8 members. all were on break and had guns in hand. if i shot one, they would be on me like dogs. i decided to look around at the passage ways first. i went down one and it led to a dead end. this also happened with the three others. i was on the final passage when i saw a door. as i got nearer i realized it was an elevator. bingo, i thought as i punched in a number. i searched every floor but there was no sign of him. i was starting to give up until i heard a scream while on the -5th floor. i ran towards the sound and that when i saw him. he was covered in blood and there was a huge gash on his arm and another one across his chest. “where did you get that?” the gang member barked. i looked at what he was holding. it was a Leo signet from my hoodie. shoot, i thought as i watched him pick Zac up and pin him to the wall. he slapped him across the face hard and blood spewed from his nose. before i could think i jumped out and shot the member. “Hawk!” he called quietly. he had sank to the ground and had his head lulled back slightly. “Zac. i’m so sorry.” i called as i dropped down by his side. i quickly wrapped him up and tried to stop the bleeding. after a lot of waiting and having a hard time with the amount of security we finally made our way out of the facility. i drove him to a hospital and left him inside. i felt bad leaving but i could be arrested if i stayed inside. as i drove home i began to cry. i haven’t cried in many years which made me feel even worse. when i finally arrived i broke down at the door. i never wanted him to get hurt. i wanted him to have a normal life but i had to ruin that. i ruin everything. back in college me and him barely new each other when we started dating. everything was great and we were both really interested in each other but when i started at the facility that all changed. i was staying out later and because of that me and him slowly drifted apart. i wished i could just quit the syndicate; forget it all, but i know it doesn’t work like that. i was stuck with no hope of ever being released. 

Hey guys! i’ll probably start updating once a week from this point on :) Thank you for reading!! i don’t expect to get many views but i appreciate every single one of you still! ~Tsu


	7. Chapter 7

(Zac pov) i woke up in the hospital, not knowing how i got there but i’m glad i did. i tried to sit up but the pain in my chest spiked and i groaned as i fell back to the bed. “great.” i sighed. the hospital wasn’t to bad and finally after three days i was sent home. as soon as i got home i called Hawk. “hey Hawk. thank you for finding me.” i said. “you’re ok!” he cried through the phone. “i was so worried.” he continued. “i know. i’m sorry. i pulled the signet out while i was walking and they all ganged up on me.” i said. my chest hurt badly and i got up to go take some pain medicine but fell before i could reach the counter. i yelped on the way down followed by the thud of me hitting the floor. “Zac? are you ok?” Hawk asked. all i could do was groan. “shoot. i’m coming to your house to help you. see you in a few minutes.” he said before hanging up. i smiled before i slowly drifted off into a hazy sleep.   
(Hawk pov) i arrived at his house only to find him laying on the floor sleeping. i chuckled and hoisted him up. he was surprisingly light i thought to myself as i walked him to his room. before i could tuck him in he opened his eyes and looked at me. “Hawk?” he whispered. “shhh.. go to sleep Zac. it’s alright.” i replied while stroking his hair. he smiled and quickly faded off. i walked back into the kitchen and saw that everything was a mess. i chuckled as i began to clean. Zac was never a tidy person, he normally let me do that since he had a job when we lived together and i did not. once i finished i heard rustling. i walked back to his room and saw him shaking, he seemed to have a panicked look on his face. he was having a nightmare. i crawled into bed beside him and wrapped my arms around his chest. “it’s ok Zac. i’m here.” i whispered and he started to calm down. i shuffled my shoes off and then found myself drifting into sleep as well.   
(flashback) “Hawk!” Zac called. he was grinning as i ran towards him and wrapped my arms around him. he giggled as i kissed his neck a few times. “how was class babe?” i whispered into his neck. “good.” he sighed. he leaned back and i gave him a peck on the lips before we walked off. (end flashback)  
“w-what are you doing?” he asked as i slowly gained consciousness. we had been sleeping for 2 hours and Zac had a panic stricken look on his face. that’s when i realized that my arm was around him. i shot up out of the bed and mumbled, “sorry” as i left the room. ‘shoot’ i thought to myself as i filled a glass of water. i heard someone stumbling down the hall and ran over to help Zac into the kitchen. “what do you want to eat?” i asked after i sat him down on the couch. “soba. and can you grab some pain meds and a bottle of water for me?” he replied. “sure” i mumbled as i heated up the noodles and grabbed the small pill case. once he was done eating he turned on the news and we sat in silence for a bit. “umm Zac i’m confused. do you want me gone or do you want me to stay?” i said. he looked down and fidgeted with his hands. “look Hawk, i know that i said all those things but it’s going to be hard for me to account for what i said. after we broke it off, i was so upset. even now i still care and worry for you just the same. that needs to change because i know you don’t feel the same way back. i can tell.” he replied. i walked over to him and held his chin. as i looked into his eyes i saw a look of fear and sadness, but also of hope. i leaned in slightly and our lips met. he kissed back and wrapped his arms around me. i pulled away and looked at him once more. “don’t ever think that i don’t feel the same way.” i said seriously as i kept eye contact. he nodded and i walked away. i don’t blush easily but i could tell that he was blushing furiously by this point. i chuckled and then sat back down to watch the television.


	8. Chapter 8

(Hawk pov) “Hawk~” Leo called as i walked into his office. “i have a job for you.” he sang. i chuckled and sat at his desk. he slid the paper over and began to explain while i read. “some big shot on the other side of town wants to make a deal. since i know you love deals i decided to give you first dibs~” he said. i smirked when he said “deals” he and i both knew what that meant. after discussing the pay and exchanging some information i left the room. “i want a half squadron. combat.” i told one of the officials and they nodded as they got the team ready.   
we approached the site where the deal was supposed to go down. “two with me. the rest of you linger.” i directed. after a few minutes the guys walked in. there was three people but probably more just to make sure this doesn’t go the wrong way. “greetings gentlemen!” he called. “i assume you’re with Leo?” he continued as he pulled out a cigar and lit it. i flashed my Leo signet and credentials, “call me Hawk.” i said. “hmm your boss offered me a pretty penny for these explosives.” he said as he grabbed the case and opened it. i signed to my men and they went to check if it was legitimate. “all clear.” one of them called as they closed the case. “alright.” i said. i waited just a second longer so they could take the case back over to our side. “and fire.” i yelled as my associates shot at the group. the two that were hiding in the shadows emerged and fired back at us. i sliced through the first two easily and then aimed for the leader. before i could pulled the trigger, one of the guards who was protecting my target shot the gun out of my hand. i yelped as i grabbed my hand but saw that no harm was done. what was happening? i must have spaced out because the next thing i knew i saw one of my associates in front of me, trying to get my attention. “sir. they are all dead. we need to move.” i nodded, still unaware of what was happening. when we got back i walked quietly into Leo’s office. “aye Hawk! congrats on the deal.” he said cheerfully. i sat down in silence and thought. “something’s wrong. that guy. he shot at me but only hit my gun. he wasn’t trying to hurt me. i’m confused.” i said. he sighed and pulled out a paper and slid it over to me. “Brendan Cole. father of two. he had a lot of debts but was planning on escaping the syndicate in two days to return to his family. i know you don’t like this part of the job but it has to be done.” he said. i sighed. “i’m gonna go.” i said as i got up and left the room. as i walked i saw James. great, just who i wanted to see, i thought sarcastically. “hey! got any info-“ he said but i closed my hand over his mouth, “not today James.” i barked. he pulled my hand off of his face and said, “but i really need to talk to you. Parker wants some info on a deal that you directed today.” how did he know i had a job today? “go on.” i snarled as i loosened my grip on him. “he wants to know how you feel. he knows you killed Brendan Cole. he wants to know what happened.” he said. i pushed him aside and walked off.   
(James pov) i could see his trust crumbling. i smirked as i pulled out my phone and dialed Parker’s number. “the plans working just fine.”


	9. Chapter 9

(Update time 🥳)

(Hawk pov) James sent me the plan for Leo. as i read through my head started to spin. was i really going to kill him? i could do that, it’d be to risky. it took weeks of planning but finally the day had come. “hey Leo! a new business in our territory has shown their loyalty to a different group. i know you want to come change their mind with me, it’s your favorite thing~” i cooed. “hmm alright.” he responded while grabbing his jacket. we drove down the street until we found the little shop that James had told me about. we walked into the back and there sat James and another one of his colleagues. “oi, what are you doing here?” James asked, he was playing along quite well. “can we take a seat?” i asked in a snarky tone. he nodded and we both sat down. before either of us could say a word men came shuffling in and pinned both of us to our chairs. “damn it.” Leo swore as James pointed a gun at his head. “any last words?” he whispered. Leo looked at me. i had my head held back by one of the men and another had me in a choke hold. “Leo-“ i gasped, trying to grab the mans hands. “i’m sorry Hawk.” he said as James shot him in the head.   
the men let go and i dropped to the floor. “did you really have to do that?” i choked. they both shrugged and began to file out. “Hawk! you’re a lucky man! that 20 million is yours.” James winked as he walked over to me. this was all wrong, i knew that they were going to force me to do this but all i’ve ever known was working for Leo. what was i going to do?  
as i walked into the office a guard grabbed me. “you are required in the meeting room.” he said while almost physically dragging me to the elevator. as i walked in the disarray of conversations went cold. “take a seat.” one of the leaders said. “Leo is dead. how.” she stared down at me and her cold angered eyes made me shiver. “we went out and were cornered. they shot him and tried to choke me but i managed to escape.” i said as i tried to keep my cool. “bullshit!” she yelled and some of the congregation began to murmur. “why would they kill him and not you? you must have.. must have murdered him yourself!” she accused. “ma’am please! hold on! Leo had a huge bounty on his head, i have none. these men were probably just after Leo’s bounty!” i tried to reason as they closed in on me. “get out.” she said finally after a moment of intense silence. i left quickly and walked until my legs wouldn’t hold up any longer. i pulled out my phone and decided to call Azno. we haven’t talked in awhile. “hey, hey! how are you doing Hawk?” he asked as i pulled the phone to my ear. “i’m good.” i lied casually. i didn’t want to draw to much attention to what had just happened. “that’s good! me to man.” he said. as we finished our conversation i began to feel a sinister cold close around me. i rushed back to my apartment, forgetting the pain in my legs and locked the door. why do i still feel like i’m being followed? voices started to emerge. first they were inaudible but soon memories began to poor out. ‘you trusted me. pathetic. you never trust anyone in this line of work, Hawk’ i winced as i remembered the pain of his fists colliding with my flesh. the screams that still haunted me to this day. ‘Erin! please no.. d-don’t die.. please.’ i remember that day. soggy and cold on the pavement outside. i remember the tear that ripped through my heart that day, much like the bullet that had ripped through his. tears streamed down my face as i sank to the floor. my head was scrambled and through all my thoughts i could only mutter the words over and over, “why.”


	10. Chapter 10

(Hawk pov) i’ve started to have daily episodes of whatever is going on with my head right now and it has started to become unbearable. i sat on the bathroom floor cleaning up the blood stain from my mouth. it hit me while i was brushing my teeth and i fell to the floor, slamming my jaw in the process. as i wiped the last of the blood off the floor tears slipped from my eyes. why was this happening? i decided to get up and go somewhere today. i had been so anxious i would have an attack outside of my apartment that i haven’t left in a month. as i walked by the noodle place i also realized i haven’t eaten either. i ate a small bowl of noodles so i didn’t kill my stomach and continued to walk. my phone began to vibrate and i looked down. it’s James. “hey, just wanted to check up on you. are you still on leave from work?” he asked as i answered the call. “yeah. i don’t think i can go back either.. i know i’m not part of your group anymore but, do you have any sort of medical wing on your campus?” i asked. “hmm odd question but yes. they are open right now so visit whenever.” he replied. i was relieved to hear that. as we finished our conversation i began to make my way there. as i was nearing the place it hit me. another attack was coming full force and i couldn’t stop it. i ran as quickly as possible until i found the doors and yanked them open. someone immediately rushed me towards the back and i fell into unconsciousness before i could even tell what was going on.   
i heard murmurs and my vision was blurry. as my eyes adjusted i could see three people standing around me. they were all dressed in white with surgical masks on. “he’s awake!” a nurse called and the group looked at me. “hi, i’m part of the.. erm.. group, here. can you explain to me what happened.” she said. i explained everything that had happened in the past month and told her about how violent the episodes have become. “sounds like a bad case of schizophrenia mixed with a lot of ptsd.” one of the nurses said. he walked to one of the counters and grabbed something. as he read through some files he pulled out two papers. “i think we should put you on these two.” he said pointing at the documents. they had prescriptions on them. “will they get rid of it?” i asked. he chuckled and shook his head. “well no but it’s the best we can do.” he replied. great, i’m going to be stuck with this for god knows how long. “take care.” one of the nurses said as i left the building. i started walking and didn’t stop till i got to Zac’s place. why am i here? i should know by now he doesn’t want to see me. before i could leave the door opened. “Hawk?” Zac asked. he was wearing my hoodie. he saw me looking and blushed slightly. “can i talk to you?” i asked. he nodded and let me come inside and sit. i explained to him everything that had happened recently and about the attacks. “Hawk i’m so sorry.” he said. i nodded. “Zac, i don’t want to burden you. i get it if you say no but, can i stay with you? my attacks are getting worse and hopefully this new medicine helps but i can’t do this alone. it’s to much.” i said, hiding my face slightly. he grabbed my chin and looked into my eyes. “don’t be ashamed. of course you can stay here.” he said smiling. i grinned back and pulled him into a hug. “thank you.”


	11. Chapter 11

i haven’t updated in forever- anyways i’m just gonna post the rest. ~Tsu

(Zac pov) i woke up and saw Hawk sleeping on the couch. i smiled as i made some coffee and then sat at the table. i always woke up earlier than him, even in college. “Zac?” Hawk said as he sat up and looked at me. he blinked his eyes and then laughed slightly, “oh sorry, i forgot i was here.” he said. he then got up and went to the bathroom. i sat in relative silence until i heard a bang followed by a scream. “Hawk?” i questioned fearfully as i ran to the bathroom. he has crouched on the floor, blood all over his face and he looked as if he had seen a ghost. “hey, it’s ok. i’m here.” i said. he was shaking like crazy so i wrapped my arms around him and held him still. “just breathe, it’s ok.” i reassured. after a few minutes he had seemed to calm enough for me to let go of him. i grabbed some water and told him to drink. “dang it, you’re burning up.” i said as i put my palm against his forehead. i layed his head in my lap and grabbed a cold rag to put on his forehead. “Zac.” he called as he seemed to slip in and out of a nightmare. i smiled grimly and picked him up. i carried him to my bed and then tucked him in. “call me if you need anything.” i whispered as i shut the curtains and left.  
work was slow today so i decided to preform. i’m nervous around other people but there was only my two co-workers and a random student. i sat on one of the stools and began to strum a slight tune. i then began to sing a few melodies as well as a men’s rendition of ‘to the sky’ as i finished the last line i saw that the student was watching me curiously. she walked over and waved. “hi, i’m Kelly. you sound amazing! i’m actually a music major so i appreciate your style.” she laughed. “so SIC i see? that’s a nice school.” she continued. i forgot that i was still wearing Hawk’s hoodie. “uhm yeah it’s pretty good.” i replied. we talked for a bit and she gave me her number. she seemed cool. i got back home and saw that Hawk was still sleeping. “poor thing.” i murmured as i brushed my hand over his forehead. i then proceeded to call the number Kelly gave me.   
(Hawk pov) i woke up to hear conversation in the air. i crept to the door and saw Zac on the phone with someone. “so can i take you on a date some time this week?” the girl asked. Zac stopped fidgeting with his hair and looked at the door to his room with almost visible pain in his eyes. i hid slightly so he couldn’t see me but continued to watch. finally after a bit more silence he spoke, “um actually i’m busy this week.” i could tell he was lying. the way he kept glancing back at the door i was hiding behind gave it away. “oh um i guess that’s ok. talk to you later Zac.” she said as she ended the call. i sat there for another minute until i realized that Zac was almost at the door. i fell back as he opened it and he grimaced. “you heard.” he stated blankly. i quickly got out of his way as he continued to the bathroom. the rest of the afternoon we stayed in relative silence until i couldn’t bare it anymore. “Zac, i know how you feel about me, and you should know how i feel about you. i’m not saying we can’t be a thing, you just have to realize that there’s a risk involved.” i said. “i know about the risks Hawk. i don’t care, i still need you.” he said quickly. i brushed my thumb across his lips and he looked at me. i leaned in to kiss him and he kissed back almost immediately. he wrapped his arms around me and i pulled him closer, savoring his touch. i pulled away and looked at him. “i missed that.” i said with a light chuckle. he smiled and pulled me into a hug.


	12. Chapter 12

Hawk pov) i was awoken to the sound of Zac’s voice. “Hawkkkk you were supposed to be up an hour ago. we are gonna be late.” he whined. i got up and quickly got dressed. Zac was taking me to the coffee shop today so i could meet his friends. as we walked in a message popped up on Zac’s phone. he looked down confused but then his eyes darkened. i put a hand on his shoulder and he immediately looked up and smiled, slipping his phone into his pocket. as we continued inside i smiled at the smell of coffee brewing. there was two barista’s and five customers. usually this place is packed with groups of college students but things seemed quite slow today. “ok, get something to drink and then sit and relax i guess.” he chuckled while pulling on an apron. i ordered something and sat in silence while watching him make my coffee. “man, my boyfriends a barista. who would have thought.” i teased. he smiled and then handed me my coffee. i kissed him on the cheek and then walked over to the tv. after a minute or so Azno ran up to me and called my name. “hey, Hawk!! it’s good to see you out and about.” he said kindly. “yeah, i needed to leave that house anyways. you on break?.” i replied. “yeah. you want to go walk around down town?” i nodded and we set off. there were a bunch of small shops lining the street. we stopped at a few and Azno bought a bunch of random things. i pointed out one pair of earrings in particular when we were at the jewelry parlor so he made me buy that as well. “man that was fun.” he said. i sighed and looked ahead of us. “i miss college. we used to do this on the weekends and hang out and do all kinds of cool stuff.” i said. “yeah i know. we’ve all kinda grow up though. our friends moved on and thankfully we’ve stayed in touch but i have a fiancé now and you have an office job. things have changed quite a lot.” he said. i agreed, i guess my mindset was just stuck on what my life could of been and not what it is now. as we neared the shop i hesitated for a second, “thanks Azno.” i said. “for what man?” he asked curiously. “for showing me what i’ve been missing.” i said before walking back into the coffee shop.  
(Zac pov) Hawk seemed distant from that point on. he was always in deep thought and was sleeping later and later. i was starting to become worried. “Hawk, lets go to bed.” i called. it was 11:30 pm and i was exhausted. i waited a few minutes and then walked to the door. “fine. stay up, just don’t come in here. if you won’t listen then sleep on the couch.” i scoffed. i had barely turned around when he wrapped his arms around me and dug his face into the crook of my neck. “sorry.” he mumbled. i smiled, man he was so gullible.   
the next morning he seemed more cheerful. as we sat and drank our morning coffee he hummed a slight tune. “so. i’ve realized that i’ve focused so much on the syndicate that i never had a hobby or passion, forgot that i was an adult and that i had freedom so i’d like to build on that.” he said, smiling as though the words were writing themselves out in his mind. as if he could almost taste the joy that they enthralled. “well for starters we could go to the art museum and maybe catch a play or a symphony.” i suggested. he smiled even wider and nodded in agreement. i haven’t seen him smile in so long. he was truly so beautiful.   
the next morning we woke up to the sound of foot steps. “hey! hope you guys are clothed cause i’m coming in!!” we heard Azno yell as he opened the door. Hawk sat up and rubbed his eyes, “what’s all the noise?” he asked as he looked around the room. “oh, hey Azno.” he said as he grabbed a shirt and pulled it on. “what’s up?” i asked. “so i found this new restaurant that has opened yesterday and it’s super cool. you guys have to try it with me today!” he exclaimed. “you woke us up, for food?” Hawk and i laughed. “yes i woke you guys up for food.” he huffed. “well i guess we will go then.” i said looking at Hawk for approval, he nodded. we both got dressed and joined Azno. we arrived and ordered our food. “this is a great place.” i said. Hawk and Azno both agreed. we were talking for awhile until i saw Hawk’s face grow cold. he looked pale and he gripped the table cloth. “they’ve come for me.” he whispered. i heard shouts as men ran towards us and surrounded our table. they pulled Hawk from his seat and pointed a gun at his head. i tried to grab one of the men but the ones holding me tightened their grip. “Hawk! stop please.” i called as they pulled him farther from us. as soon as Hawk was out of sight the men holding us loosened their grip. i fell to the ground and watched as they walked away. “Hawk.” i whispered. this can’t be happening.

(Hawk pov) “let go of me!” i yelled as they dragged me down an alley way. we approached a building and they pulled me inside and almost immediately threw me into a cell. “you can’t do this. i’m one of you guys.” i yelled as they closed the door. the council women barged in and looked at me with a smile, “good.” she said as the guards left. “Hawk Jones, you have been charged with the murder of Leo Pliskintry. we will be discussing your case further at a later time.” she said. “wait, i didn’t kill him though! he was a father figure to me, he taught me everything i know. i would never do that. i would never hurt him.” i begged, tears falling from my eyes. she hesitated but soon continued out of the door.   
the cell was dark and cold. i could hear other voices in the cells around me. they were like whispers calling to me. “hello?” i asked. the voices ceased and i could hear moving. “hey. you new here champ?” a man said in a gruff voice. “yes, who are you?” i called. “shhhh!” he called, “through the vents you idiot.” he continued. i looked around until i saw a small vent on the floor. “i’m Jet. used to work here a few years ago but i got thrown into this trash hole.” the man said. Jet? i knew that name. “wait, Jet from the combat wing? everyone said you died.” i said with a chuckle. “nope, just stuck in here.” he responded.   
it had been three weeks since i got here. i was allowed a visitor today and i knew i had to ask for Zac. i planned on telling him the plan for escape today. me and Jet have been planning a way to get out, he has a group that could help but i have to give someone on the outside a way to get to them. “Hawk!” Zac said as he walked over to the table i was sitting at. “hey, Zac. i missed you.” i said smiling at him. “i have some information for you. i can’t say the exact details but i’ll give them to you later.” i said. we continued to talk about the plan as discretely as possible. the guards were busy with so many people that they didn’t listen to conversations much. “hey, number 8. your times up.” one of the guards called. i smiled and got up, i turned to Zac and whispered, “forgive me.” before kissing him. i tilted his head back so i could drop the capsule into his mouth. the capsule had phone numbers and what needed to be said to get us out. “take care.” i said while waving as i walked away. 

(Zac pov) i ran to the bathroom and spit out the capsule. there was a paper inside that had a number and a few words written on it. “Jet needs a favor at the fox house.” i mouthed silently. what could that mean? i headed home and as soon as i arrived i called the number. “h-hello?” i said when the line picked up. there was only silence. “um J-Jet needs a favor at the fox house.” i continued. the person on the other side then hung up. i slumped into the couch. i just helped criminals. “im a criminal now.” i chuckled.

Author note: bANANA FISH FANS PLZ FORGIVE ME BUT I HAD TOO LMAOO


	13. Chapter 13

(Hawk pov) “move out of the way scumbag.” one of the inmates scolded as i was waiting in line for food. i stood my ground. “aye you think this is a game idiot?” he said angrily. after a moment of silence he punched me across the face and his accomplices kicked me aside as they walked by. “you should really learn your place.” one of them called. i woke up with a headache. i was inside of my cell with my arm locked up. great. now i have something else to worry about. “hey Jet.” i called down the pipe. i heard a grumble and some movement before i could distinguish a voice. “what’s up?” he replied. “i know you’ve been here for 5 years and all but what’s your plan? you haven’t ever told me.” i said. he grumbled and more inaudible shuffling and swearing could be heard. “that group, i used to work with them. they still owe me so i know they will break us out. i’m sure of it.” he replied casually. another syndicate? this could become dangerous. when syndicates meet, it’s not the nicest sight to see. i was in a syndicate fight once, never again. we lost many good people that day. one of them was my partner.   
as the days continued with no sign of escape i started to lose hope. until today. our guard was called off to another wing, this could be our chance. sure enough we saw men beginning to walk down the corridor. they stopped at our cells and unlocked them with incredible speed. “good to see you Jet.” one of the men said as they helped him up. as he walked out i finally got to see the man behind the voice. he was tall with long brown hair. he had a slight beard and the years of imprisonment showed through. he smiled as they walked us back down the hall. as we neared the front i realized that there were still tons of guards. “wait- what about the other-“ i said but was interrupted by one of the men busting the door down and quickly securing the room. they had some impressive skills i must admit. we got into the truck and they locked the back. i could hear sirens following us as the truck picked up speed. we turned abruptly and i crashed into the wall. i swore under my breath as i backed away to inspect the wound. finally after a few more minutes the truck stopped. “come on.” i heard someone call as they grabbed Jet and helped him out. “woah, this ones hurt.” one of them said. i was brought inside and taken to a cot. “you’ll be treated here Mr. Hawk.” one of the escorts informed me.   
i woke up with a horrible headache. i could hear mumbling but nothing was audible enough to make out what was being said. i sat up and rubbed my eyes. i was in a small room that was largely filled up by just the cot. there was a chair and a table that folded so the door could open. as my mind cleared i could distinguish the conversation outside. “please. even if he’s not awake, i want to see him.” a voice said. Zac? i called out his name and the bickering went silent. the door opened and i saw him standing there. he looked at me with tears in his eyes and smiled. “Hawk. thank god.” he called as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. i winced and he jolted back, “sorry.” he mumbled. “no, it’s fine. what happened. where am i?” i asked. one of the doctors stepped in and explained how we had escaped and that i was in the head courters of another syndicate. my head was spinning again. the thought of being at another syndicate scared me. horrible things could happen but the doctor seemed to not care that i was part of the Leo’s Signet.   
as we talked a tall man walked in followed by two others. “morning Hawk.” Jet said. “me and my comrades would like to speak to you.” he continued. i looked at Zac and he squeezed my hand before leaving the room. “you’ve got a bounty Hawk. you’re in danger now that you are out of a syndicate. the reason i’m telling you this is because... well we have an open station and wondered if you would want to take it.” he said. one of the men handed me a file and i looked through it. ‘head of field operations.’ it read. “it’ll be a calmer job then what you’re used to. you’re not a pawn anymore Hawk, you’re a viable asset.” one of the men said. “thank you, i’ll have my response once i’m out of the hospital if that is fine with you?” i asked. Jet nodded and him and the two other men left.   
after another day at the hospital they released me. we were driving down the road when Zac got a notification on his phone. he looked at it and his face went cold for a second. he quickly snapped out of it and continued driving. we arrived at the house and Zac still seemed to be on edge. he was standing in the kitchen when i walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist. he tensed up but quickly melted into my touch. “what’s wrong?” i cooed while stroking his hair. “m-my father has been messaging me.” he stuttered. “your father? i thought he was dead.” i said blankly. “i thought so too.” he pulled out his phone and showed me the text. “he wants to meet this weekend. i’ve already called him once. i’m pretty sure it’s him.” he said as i scrolled through his conversation. “whoa, hold on, a meeting? Zac he’s been dead for 6 years, how do you know you can trust him?” i said. Zac didn’t respond and went to go prepare dinner.


	14. Chapter 14

(Zac pov)  
it had been a week since my father had messaged me and as i set out across the foggy bay area i had a creeping suspicion that something wasn’t right. finally i arrived at the address. it was at the far side of the bay and the building looked very old. the paint was cracking and the door frame was lined with rust. i was slightly creeped out but knocked regardless. “who’s there?” i heard someone snap. “um it’s Zac. Zac Bergman.” i said as the door swung open. the figure at the door looked rough. he had messy gray hair and battered clothing but the kindest eyes. “father.” i said and he smiled. “w-we thought you were dead. mom could never forgive herself, s-she couldn’t handle it-“ i stopped talking as he put his hand on my shoulder. “i’m sorry about your mother. come inside, you’ll catch a cold.” he said as he stepped aside to let me in. the walls were covered with old photographs and atop the fire place sat a dark photo that i could see until i walked closer. it was my father and mother as well as me, i was just a baby and they both looked so young. i sighed and he walked towards me. “so how did you find me?” i asked him. “well your boyfriend doesn’t keep to many things secret. i got your number from his syndicate papers. they know more then you think.” he said. the syndicate? they had my name and number? that can’t be good. “s-so you worked for Leo?” i stuttered. he stayed silent but then bursted into gales of laughter. “of course not! i just know a guy.” he chuckled. i nodded and he led me to the kitchen. he handed me some water and i took it. we talked for a bit longer until i felt an odd sensation flood through me. i started to feel nauseas and my vision blurred. i fell to the floor and my father helped pull me up. i thought he was helping me but he then whispered, “you really shouldn’t trust dead people.” as i fell out of consciousness.

(Hawk pov)  
Zac wasn’t back yet so i decided to call him. he said he was almost home. something was wrong, i could tell. he seemed colder then usual. as he waltzed into the living room he shot a awkward smile at me at continued to his room. “so, where did you go?” i asked. he stopped what he was doing and hesitated for a split second. “just walking.” he replied as he continued to wash the dishes. “you sure?” i said quietly. i could see he was uncomfortable. “why don’t you let me take care of the dishes. go find a show to watch sweetie.” he said trying to change the subject. i sat down on the couch and sighed. that wasn’t Zac. he would never call me sweetie.

AN: probably gonna wrap this up soon folks :/ not really feeling it anymore


	15. Chapter 15

(Hawk pov)  
“hey Zac. i’m heading out to the store, need anything?” by this point i was pretty sure this wasn’t Zac. he was acting completely different but i still wanted to test one thing. as i walked over to him he continued to look down at his book. i grabbed his chin and kissed him softly on the lips. he tried to go with it but i could see him squirm. the kiss was dull and plain, nothing like me and Zac’s kisses prior to this. it’s like the passion had been snuffed out.   
i came back an hour later to see that he wasn’t home. there was small note on the counter that said, “abandoned car park. top floor.” what could he be doing there. i drove as quickly as i could and when i arrived i felt the cold drizzle hit my face. the sky was dark and the sky seemed sickly. as i walked onto the top platform i saw Zac standing a few yards in front of me. he wasn’t facing me but i knew he could feel my presence. “i assume you know i’m not me anymore Hawk.” he said in a bitter tone. i walked closer until i was only a couple feet away. “let him go.” i said firmly. “oh i will.” he said smirking, “over your dead body.” he pulled out a gun and pointed it at my chest. my brain rattled as i stared at the gun. “Zac, don’t do this.” i spat as he continued to smirk. he walked closer until the gun was right in front of my chest. he looked non-human. his eyes had an evil glint that chilled me to my core. i dropped to the ground and i could see his look of triumph. “is this really how it ends? all this time with the syndicate and i get killed b-by you? why?” i asked. i tried to hold back from pleading but as the words escaped my mouth my feelings swelled. there i sat, on the cold wet ground with Zac standing over me. gun pointed to my head. i quickly got up and ran towards him. before i knew it the sound of a singular gun shot pierced through the rain. i fell into his arms as i tried to capture my breath. i quickly sank to the ground and fell back, putting a hand over my wound. “H-Hawk?” i looked up in shock to see Zac still standing there. “is it you?” i asked. he nodded and practically fell over top my body. he sobbed as he hugged me tightly. “no. Hawk please. i’m so sorry.” he wailed as the life slowly left my body. as i took my final glance at the man i loved, i wasn’t pained. i was happy. happy he was the last thing i got to see. “..i love you”


	16. Epilogue

it was a calm quiet morning as i set off through the grass. there was a few people dwindling at head stones. speaking in hushed tones as i walked by. “hello Alex.” i said as i reached out to touch the slightly moss covered head stone. my heart felt heavy and a tear threatened to fall from my eye. “daddy?” i turned around quickly to see my little girl. “hey sweet heart. come here.” i said as she walked towards me. “who was he?” she said. i looked past the head stone and at the bustling city around us. here time seemed to stop. it felt like one of those old crisp autumn evenings that me and him used to share. like i could just sink into his arms and feel comforted once more. i sighed and smiled slightly, “an old friend.”

AN: I cried writing these past few chapters. if you read all the way through then thank you for embarking on this journey with me. it’s the first story i have written and i hope to write more in the future. bye folks :)


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